The Worlds Worst Teachers extract

THE WORLD’S WORST TEACHERS

MR PENT’S BALLS

the only member. Other strong contenders for the world’s most boring after-school club are:

When Master Pent spotted a huge steel ball, he was eager to put to the test

this whole circumference–diameter nonsense. As he fumbled in his pencil case for his ruler, he failed to see that this huge steel ball was, in fact, swinging straight towards him at speed. It was meant to destroy an old block of flats that was standing right behind him. Instead it struck the boy. On the head. Hard. Really hard. W H O O S H !

Punctuation Club

Standing-in-a-puddle Society

Basket-weaving for Beginners

Trainspotters Anonymous Sitting-in-the-dark Society Staring-at-a-blank-wall Club Traffic-cone Appreciation Society Latin! Latin! Latin!

M a s t e r P e n t w a s k n o c k e d o u t

t h e b a l l b a t t e d h i m i n t o t h e a i r . c o l d . T h a t w a s j u s t a s w e l l , a s 3.14 miles

In Maths Club, Master Pent had just been learning all about pi, also known as or 3.14. Pi is even more boring than it sounds, and it sounds cataclysmically boring. It is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.* Are you asleep yet? “ZZZZ! ZZZZ! ZZZ! ZZZZ!” If so, then goodnight. If not, read on…

W H I Z Z !

He flew (interestingly enough) exactly 3.14 miles

before smashing through the roof of a shed in a back garden.

DOOF!

SMASH!

CRUNCH!

20 * I confess I had to look that up as I spent all my time in Maths daydreaming about cake.